Answer this honestly, were you ever really taught how to process your emotions as a child? Were you ever really taught how to understand what you were feeling and why you were feeling it?
Or were you mostly taught to suppress your feelings?
Were you taught to not love deeply because you'll get hurt? Were you taught to not cry because it's embarrassing? Were you taught to not express your thoughts because you'll get bullied? Were you taught to not be vulnerable because it's scary?
Let's be honest, most of us were taught to be compliant with what other people wanted us to feel. We were punished if our emotions and reactions weren't what our parents or friends would accept.
So, that 'numbness' that you're feeling, it's not that you feel nothing at all, it's that you are feeling everything you've bottled up and you do not know how to process it.
No wonder you don't know how to process and feel it.
You have swallowed your emotions over and over and over again throughout the years.
You have pushed away your true feelings in order to keep the peace.
You have been trying to protect yourself from the same embarrassment and hurt you felt when you were young and first tried to express your emotions.
But that energy, those feelings, are all still sitting with you now and they're overwhelming you. They might be locked away, but they're rumbling behind that door. And as you keep trying to suppress them, they're getting louder and bigger, taking up so much space that you barely have room to breathe.
The numbness is from you tiptoeing around or avoiding feeling ANYTHING ELSE in this world that might cause the door to open – you'll avoid deep love, honest communication, being your true self – because you think that if the door crack open, you won't survive. You think that it will be too painful to look inside. That it will destroy you.
As someone who decided to open the door and face it, I can promise you, it will not destroy you, it will liberate you.
I will also be very honest and tell you that you will feel everything – lots of emotions will come out. But you NEED to feel everything. You need to let yourself cry, scream, yell... FEEL.
It's time to say enough is enough and get yourself back to your true state of feeling (and being comfortable sitting in that state). Once you do, you can finally open up to being yourself which will allow in deep love, deep connection, deep communication. It's freedom to just BE.
If you’re ready to start feeling again, here are some steps to help you reconnect with your emotions:
- Journaling: write without judgment about what you feel (or are afraid to feel). Journaling can help unlock buried emotions.
- Inner Child Meditation: Connecting with your inner child will help you see what the biggest emotion is that your inner child is holding onto. There are some great free meditations on InsightTimer.
- Emotional Expression: Find a safe, quiet space that you can be in alone, and allow yourself to cry, scream, and move your body (shake, jump up and down).
- Therapy or Support Groups: Talking with a therapist or joining a support group can provide a safe space for processing emotions. Honestly, talking things out with someone you know won't judge you or give you advice but just LISTEN and allow you to speak freely and express your emotions freely is very liberating.
- Creative Outlets: create art (it doesn't have to be the mona lisa) just let it flow from you, dance (could be just dancing around in your living room), or any form of creative expression can be powerful tools for releasing emotions.
- Self-Compassion Practices: Start to speak gently and lovingly to yourself. Positive self-talk and self-acceptance will help you reconnect to yourself and create a safe space within your own body.