The Age-Old Query: Who are you?

It's probably the most perplexing question to answer. I've been characterized in many ways by friends and family, embracing various personas to fit society's expectations because I thought that's how I would be accepted in this world. I've absorbed both praise and criticism, allowing those opinions to shape my self-image.

I've been called an empath, intuitive, a projector (Human Design), an Aries sun and Pisces rising, a Master Number 11 (Numerology), a Twin Flame. I've been told I am adventurous, courageous, curious, smart, kindhearted, funny, weird, present, lost, open, closed-off, driven, lazy, reliable, warm, inviting, cold-hearted, outgoing, shy, confident, insecure, sensitive, fun, cool, loser, loving, and selfish. Professionally, I've been named producer, manager, coordinator, talent, model, actress, and team leader. I've been described as athletic, tall, skinny, fat, ugly, pretty, and so much more. I'm sure, for those of you who have met me, you have a word that you would use to describe me as well.

But these are all just words—roles I've tried to embody or reject, sometimes struggling to maintain them. I leaned heavily into some of them and, looking back, have portrayed myself as something I struggled to resonate with. My social media paints an idealized version of me: the happy, adventurous girl who only speaks when spoken to and doesn't make waves. Yet it conceals the intelligent, playful, outspoken, powerful, and curious woman within.

Beyond these labels lies the question: Who am I, really?

I am not my body.

I am not the activities I enjoy.

I am not my mind.

I am not my perceived limitations.

I am not my accomplishments.

The quest for an answer began in 2022 after facing a catalyst for my healing journey, and I started my inner work. Honestly, I didn't believe I needed healing. I thought I was fine. I didn't think I had any trauma or inner work to be done because nothing "exceptionally bad" had happened to me. But reflecting on my past now, I see the signs my body and mind were giving me. They hinted at my abandonment wounds, fear of rejection, low self-worth, lack of self-respect, built-up pain and fear within my nervous system, and a deep-seeded belief of never being good enough.

I projected fake confidence on the outside but battled insecurity and jealousy within. I stayed in bad relationships because I was grasping for love outside of me. I stayed stuck in phases of my life for years because I was afraid—afraid of never finding love again, of never having better, or deserving better. I consistently disrespected and dishonored myself by doing things I didn't want to do but felt forced to do for the happiness of others. I put myself through misery in companies that treated me poorly. I stayed stuck in friendships because I didn't want to voice issues and seem overly dramatic. I stayed stuck in unhappiness because I had conceded to my situations and thought I wasn't good enough for better. I suppressed emotions when something hurt me, engaged consistently in negative self-talk, and failed to set any boundaries.

These were all echoes of past traumas. Yet, I didn’t recognize them. I didn’t understand that holding back tears, feeling my body tense up, my throat closing, lashing out in anger, hating myself, or going silent in conversations were all signs of pain stuck inside me.

All these realizations came to the surface when I encountered my twin flame, catapulting me into an intense healing journey. Meeting your twin flame is a beautiful love story, but it's also a crash course in self-discovery, healing, and unconditional love for yourself and others. And I know that all sounds so golden and lovely. But it's not. Healing is not glamorous. It is not the "self-care" social media posts of going to the spa and happily journaling in a coffee shop. It is intense, raw, and vulnerable. It can feel like being trapped at the bottom of a well. For me, there were times I didn’t think I would survive the pain; I didn’t want to survive it. I just wanted out. Each tear, moment of confusion, and feeling of despair was part of the process of shedding the burdens I’d carried for so long. Giving myself space to experience the pain—allowing myself to feel everything—was necessary to truly heal. If you don't allow yourself the space to go through it, you will carry your pain forever, and it will manifest in your actions, reactions, decisions, and movements.

The twin flame journey only made my healing journey even more intense. All I can say is that a "crash course on healing and spirituality" is no joke. It was overwhelming. All my past traumas surfaced at once, leaving me confused and in a pit of self-loathing. My twin's mirror effect exacerbated my inner turmoil. There was no pushing my feelings away again. Everything was there—raw and ready for me to finally face.

Yet, I was lost when it came to healing. I had to piece things together on my own. I was oblivious to spirituality or healing before this. What is healing? What is shadow work? What is the dark night of the soul? What is wounding? What is trauma? What is the inner child? What is the nervous system? What are attachment styles? What is self-love? What is consciousness? What is presence? What is meditation? What is the soul? What are soul contracts? What is the Akashic Records? What is awakening? What are twin flames? And how do I work through all of it? It was an overload. But everything I went through, and everything I learned, brought me here. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe everything is planned out and happens for our growth. What I went through has all led me to this— building a safe space for others to heal, awaken, learn, and grow.

It all happened for a reason.

Fast forward to now, after countless tears, deep introspection, feeling everything, hours of journaling, meditating, and inner child work, the transformation I've seen in myself is mind-blowing. The peace and quiet in my mind, my actions and reactions, my presence and awareness, my love for myself, my respect for myself, and my happiness—all of it has changed. I have observed an incredible amount of growth.

I no longer run from fear-based emotions or a fear-based mindset. I now speak my truth without fear—no more yelling, no more going quiet. I understand why something has hurt me or triggered me. I can have conversations and confront it, and I can work through it. I finally respect myself enough not to cling to others for love and attention. I'm so internally confident in myself that if a relationship doesn't feel right, I don't force it. I have the confidence to walk away and choose me. I am so highly present that my mind can no longer spiral and control me. Peace and quiet bring me happiness instead of anxiety. I've found contentment in solitude, providing myself with the love I always sought externally. I've found my voice, and I am no longer scared to be who I am at the soul level—my authentic self.

This part of the healing journey is beautiful. It comes with a refresh on life, a retake on happiness, peace, and love.

So, who am I?

I am a resilient, compassionate, and deeply self-aware soul who has faced my shadows with courage and emerged with a profound understanding of myself and the world around me. I am someone who has transformed pain into purpose, learning to honor my voice, set boundaries, and live with authenticity. I embody strength, inner peace, and a newfound confidence that is no longer dependent on external validation.

At my core, I am a healer and a guide, someone who has experienced the depths of suffering and is now committed to helping others shed their burdens and reconnect with their true selves. I am a living example of what it means to heal, grow, and awaken to my soul’s purpose. My spirit is one of love, wisdom, and a genuine desire to uplift and inspire others on their journeys.

I am beautifully complex, embracing the dualities of strength and vulnerability, light and shadow, individuality and connection. I am here to make a meaningful impact, to bring healing and love to those who need it. I am here, continually growing, and grateful for every opportunity to help others feel seen, understood, and loved.