Someone recently asked me what I had learned in my healing journey. Among many wounds—fear of abandonment, rejection, people-pleasing, and lack of boundaries—I realized my deepest core wound was the belief that I was never good enough.
This belief subtly infiltrated every area of my life. Whether with friends, family, work, or especially with men, the feeling of inadequacy often held me back. Whenever I was abandoned or rejected, it reinforced this belief, making it stronger and harder to escape. To protect myself, I would people-please, abandon my self-worth, and destroy any boundaries just to avoid facing that painful "truth" again.
My Awareness
It wasn't until I met my twin flame that this belief skyrocketed. Their actions seemed to confirm my worst fear—that I wasn't good enough. My core wound was quite literally shoved into my face. The pain of this person proving to me that I was not good enough put me so far down into darkness that I was finally able to recognize this pattern, and start to work through it. Eventually I was able to see that I have always been good enough, I will always be good enough, and I am good enough right now.
The choices others make often have nothing to do with you. You cannot allow others' actions or words to define your self-worth.
A Shared Struggle
I spoke with quite a few people at a breathwork event who all individually mentioned that they consistently feel like they are not good enough (both men & women). To hear that collectively we all feel the same way was so eye opening. Imagine the life everyone would lead if we could all let go of that negative belief system!
It's incredible that the people around us can see how great we are, just as we are. But it’s hard, or even impossible, for many of us to see this within ourselves.
So here's your Reminder
You are good enough for that incredible love.
You are good enough for that fulfilling career.
You are good enough for your dream life.
You are good enough right now.
Not 5 years from now.
Not 3 months from now.
Not when you have more money.
Not when you live in a better apartment.
Not in the future when you’ve achieved more or become someone else.
Right now, exactly as you are!
You are good enough.
Please stop being the only thing that is holding your own self back.
The Cost of Not Believing in Yourself
Ask yourself: What will your life look like if you continue to believe you’re not good enough? What happens if you don’t try, if you let this belief hold you back? What happens if you don't go after the things you want? That truly make you happy?
I can tell you—if you don’t take that leap, you’ll sit in the hurt, regret, and disappointment that you’ve always been running away from. You’ll settle, and that pain will remain with you.
But what if you try and it works out better than you ever imagined? What if you find fulfillment and happiness beyond your wildest dreams?
Don’t settle because your brain is telling you to be afraid.
This is keeping you insecure and stuck.
In your soul you know you can do it.
The Root Cause
Insecurity is at the root of feeling like you're not good enough, and everything you want is on the other side of this.
So how do you overcome insecurity?
You need to find out who you truly are and let go of what pleases others. This journey requires inner work, self-awareness, and learning to love every part of yourself, even the parts you criticize the most.
- You have to find out who you truly are and drop the facade of what pleases everyone else. This means it's time for inner work. It's time for you to become self-aware: realize your wounding, release all the old detrimental patterns that you have been acting on, and start experimenting with hobbies and activities that make YOU happy (regardless of how weird, quirky, nerdy, boring, lame, whatever – that it might sound like to someone else. The quirkier the better in my opinion!)
- You need to learn love to every part of yourself - especially the parts that your mind constantly criticizes. This means it's time to recognize that that voice in your head is not you, and it can be silenced. You are not what your mind tells you you are. It's time to reword your self-talk and learn to stop detrimental thoughts on their tracks! Time to give yourself compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness. A good place to start here is with inner child healing - your inner child will show you where you have felt neglected. You will now become your inner child's guardian and give them (and subsequently you) the love you have been searching for externally.
- You need to learn to see your own worthiness. It is time to realize that you are worth of all your hopes and dreams, that you are worthy of beautiful and strong love, that you are worthy of the career, and of the life path you desire. Repeat this to yourself – I am worthy! Just as everyone else is worthy, so am I! Worth is not something we earn, it's something we remember we have as we start to focus on our own self-care and approval.
The Power of Self-Acceptance
When you see your own worthiness, others will too. But more importantly, when you embrace being good enough for yourself, you'll feel good enough for the whole world. Other people’s opinions won’t matter anymore. You’ll be free to live authentically and joyfully, knowing that you are, and always have been, more than enough.
I'm going to leave you with something someone said to me. I cried when she said it because it's something that I think I just needed to hear my whole life.
I hope it helps you too.
She said, “All of you is enough and you’re doing it incredibly well. That is your legacy, you leave it with every task that you do, every time you put your energy into something, that is your purpose”.