We spend so much time learning about ourselves through external lenses and only listening to surface level information — our astrology signs, love languages, personality types, etc. We want to understand how we fit into the world. But when it comes to looking inward, peeling back the layers of who we’ve become, we hesitate. Because facing ourselves is harder than reading about ourselves.
The truth is, your authentic self is buried — under layers of limiting beliefs, childhood wounds, past embarrassments, and the pressure to be "cool," "desirable," or "acceptable." From a young age, we learn what parts of us are praised and what parts get rejected. So we adapt. We shrink, we mold, we become versions of ourselves that will be loved, admired, or at the very least, tolerated. We laugh at jokes that aren’t funny. We pretend to like things we don’t. We dull our quirks, quiet our opinions, and shape-shift into whatever makes us feel safe in the moment.
But safety isn’t freedom.
The more we perform, the more we lose touch with who we are underneath it all. We build entire identities around what’s socially acceptable, but deep down, we feel disconnected, restless, like something is missing. And what’s missing is us. The real us. The us that doesn’t overthink every move, that isn’t worried about looking stupid or sounding weird. The us that doesn’t need validation to exist.
Here’s the hard part: you have to lose who you’ve been pretending to be in order to find who you really are.
That means letting go of the need to be liked. It means validating yourself instead of waiting for approval. It means being okay with people misunderstanding you, judging you, even walking away. Some friendships will fade. Some people won’t get it. But the trade-off? Freedom. Confidence. A life that actually feels like yours.
Because do you really want to look back at your life at 80 years old, filled with regret? Filled with disappointment and frustration, feeling unfulfilled because you never truly lived — because you spent your whole life acting like someone else? Listening to other people's opinions, never listening to your own intuition and feelings. Shrinking yourself down to "appease" friends and family, missing out on experiences, love, and education? Do you really want to live your life for someone else? To make them happy, while slowly destroying yourself?
Your authentic self isn’t something you create — it’s someone you remember. It’s the version of you that existed before the world told you who to be. And when you finally start peeling back the layers, removing the masks, and stepping into your truth, you’ll realize something beautiful:
You were never too much.
You were never not enough.
You were just buried.
And now, it’s time to set yourself free.
So, how do you uncover your authentic self?
It starts with awareness. Notice the habits, thoughts, and actions that don’t actually feel like YOU.
When do you silence yourself?
When do you say yes when you want to say no, and no when you want to say yes?
When do you hold back your opinions and knowledge?
When do you stop yourself from speaking your truth because you're afraid the world won’t understand?
When do you say or do something that doesn’t feel right—just because people around you expect you to behave a certain way?
When do you deny your own feelings, rejecting love because it’s not accepted by your friends, family, or society?
When do you shrink yourself, turning down experiences because you fear looking foolish?
When do you shy away from anything that could make you seem "less perfect"?
When do you people-please at the cost of your own happiness?
When do you get embarrassed over something so small—tripping on the sidewalk, saying something that no one understands?
Why? Everyone trips. Everyone has thoughts that come out messy. Since when did expressing yourself become something to be ashamed of? Since when did making a mistake make you unlovable?
Who are you performing for?
Notice these little things. These invisible chains that keep you caged in a box. And when you recognize them — pause. Take a breath. Take a leap of faith. Push past that fear. And then, let go. Let go of the need to be liked, the pressure to fit in, the fear of being judged. Stop waiting for permission to be yourself. You do not need it.
Start validating yourself. Make choices based on what YOU actually want, not what will make others comfortable. Say what you really think. Wear what you actually like. Do what excites you, not what earns you approval. Because every time you do, you step closer to the real you. The one who has been waiting for you all along.
And most of all, get comfortable with discomfort. Stepping into authenticity can feel awkward at first, like learning to walk again. But the more you shed the layers, the more natural it becomes.
This is your life. Live it as yourself, or risk never truly living at all.
